Batman is not silly or corny. He doesn't whip out Bat-shark repellent or joke Batman credit cards when battling his enemies. He most definitely does not wear rubber nipples on his suit. Instead, Batman is a dark creature of the night, striking fear in the hearts of evil-doers just as they would seek to do to innocents. He is not seen at press conferences or public charity functions, but rather lurking in the shadows of Gotham's rooftops and in the whispers and nightmares of the city's criminal element.
Batman is not a hero because of his "wonderful toys." Yes, while Bruce Wayne uses his access to high tech equipment to aid him in his war on crime, it is not the reliance on his tools alone that allows him to succeed. Through years of training and study, Batman has honed his mind and body to near perfection, elevating him to the status of superhero though he possesses no super powers in the traditional sense.
Batman is not a disguise for Bruce Wayne. In fact, Bruce Wayne is a false public persona constructed to conceal the hero's true identity as Batman. While Bruce Wayne might be spotted among high society with a supermodel on each arm, Batman remains more dedicated at heart to his mission than he ever could be to the pursuit of romance.
Batman's villains are not buffoons who provide more comic relief than they do a real threat. They are psychotic killers with cunning minds, more Hannibal Lecter than Dr. Evil. They do not employ oversize props or live in glitzy hideouts, preferring instead to concoct schemes of terror that would make your and my skin crawl if they were real.
Batman's ally Jim Gordon is not an incompetent and overweight figurehead in the world of law enforcement. He's a man of virtue in a city of corruption, a good cop who stands alone against a criminal underworld and dirty police force who are often one and the same.
Batman does not kill. Though he seeks to avenge his parents, Batman would never re-create the act of murder that stole them from him. After seeking an eye for an eye at a young age, Batman has learned that true justice is served when evil is defeated without resorting to using its methods.
Batman does not deserve to be exploited on screen for the sole purposes of being merchandised to children. His movies should not be mere popcorn flicks void of substantive plots. His story is one of complexity, the gripping tale of a man desperately fighting to redeem a severely broken world.
And Batman has never been accurately portrayed in a live action movie. Until now.
Kize movie grade: A+
Friday, June 24, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Did you miss "What's the Matter, Kize?" as much as I did?
It's been quite a while since I've posted, though there have been a variety of topics over the past month worth writing about. Here's what earned my love/hatred over the past few weeks.
Was Season Four of 24 the best ever? Probably not...I think that honor is still reserved for Season Two, which had the best overall storyline despite an anticlimactic conclusion and some ill-advised Kim subplots. Season Four loses a few points in my book for featuring a string of largely singular terrorist threats rather than a coherent grand scheme. Even so, it earns a few 24 "best of" honors. Chief among those is "Best Season Finale," taking that prize by far. Historically, the 24 finales haven't had the luster that the rest of the season has, mainly because the format of the show requires most of the plot threads to be resolved prior to the final hour. This year's finale, however, broke that mold by changing the status quo of Jack Bauer's life in a manner that boasts a great deal of promise for Season Five (details withheld for the sake of our DVD viewers). Also, this season may have been the most exciting so far, due largely to Jack's one-man assault on the terrorists' compound to save Audrey as well as his race against the bad guys in to recover the president's nuclear football. Kize season grade: A
This year's Worst Season Finale Ever award goes to Alias, a show whose decline has been documented more than once in this blog. Ever since its inception, Alias has built a complex ongoing storyline about the prophecies and inventions of Milo Rambaldi, a scientist from 500 years ago far ahead of his time. This plot thread apparantly came to a conclusion in the finale, and a disappointing one at that. For a four-year epic to reach an appropriately exciting finish, it deserves a lengthy build-up to the end, not the three-episode arc that this year's continuity-hostile format imposed upon us. Furthermore, the promised epic showdown between Sydney and her sister Nadia turned out to be totally lame. Not only was the fight a let down, but it came about in the most contrived way possible. Rather than give Nadia and Sydney compelling motives to oppose each other, the show resorted to putting Nadia under mind control that turned her into a temporary bad guy. Kize finale grade: D+
Is there any musical act as heavily influenced by its choice of producer as is Dave Matthews Band? Just as occurred on "Everyday" with Glenn Ballard, new producer Mark Batson convinces DMB on its new album "Stand Up" to dumb down its music rather than indulge in the complex instrumental jams that earned them a fan base. This time around, the band adopts the sound of easy listening adult contemporary radio, much like Dave did on his solo effort a few years back. Most of the songs on the album are largely repetitive, with choruses that consist of singing the same line over and over and over. It's probably DMB's worst album, even though some of the tracks are enjoyable. Louisana Bayou is a fun, funky jam, and I like Hunger for the Great Light despite its unabashedly sex-filled lyrics. But considering that I plan on skipping over almost half of the songs every time this disc makes its way into my player, its Kize album grade can't be any higher than a C-.
Joining DMB in the Worst Album of Their Career category is Weezer, with "Make Believe." The good news, however, is that every song on the album is better than Beverly Hills, the first single and Weezer's Worst Song Ever. A good two-thirds of the album still has the trademark Weezer sound, complete with self-depricating lyrics and the singing of various "whoa-oh"s and "oo oo"s. It is only because these songs aren't quite as clever or musically original as much of the band's other catalogue that the album falls short of the mark set by the previous ones. Out of the remaining tracks which depart from Weezer's traditional sound, only one of them avoids sounding overly corny--"This is Such a Pity," in which the band explores what they might sound like if they were The Killers. Kize album grade: C+
Was Season Four of 24 the best ever? Probably not...I think that honor is still reserved for Season Two, which had the best overall storyline despite an anticlimactic conclusion and some ill-advised Kim subplots. Season Four loses a few points in my book for featuring a string of largely singular terrorist threats rather than a coherent grand scheme. Even so, it earns a few 24 "best of" honors. Chief among those is "Best Season Finale," taking that prize by far. Historically, the 24 finales haven't had the luster that the rest of the season has, mainly because the format of the show requires most of the plot threads to be resolved prior to the final hour. This year's finale, however, broke that mold by changing the status quo of Jack Bauer's life in a manner that boasts a great deal of promise for Season Five (details withheld for the sake of our DVD viewers). Also, this season may have been the most exciting so far, due largely to Jack's one-man assault on the terrorists' compound to save Audrey as well as his race against the bad guys in to recover the president's nuclear football. Kize season grade: A
This year's Worst Season Finale Ever award goes to Alias, a show whose decline has been documented more than once in this blog. Ever since its inception, Alias has built a complex ongoing storyline about the prophecies and inventions of Milo Rambaldi, a scientist from 500 years ago far ahead of his time. This plot thread apparantly came to a conclusion in the finale, and a disappointing one at that. For a four-year epic to reach an appropriately exciting finish, it deserves a lengthy build-up to the end, not the three-episode arc that this year's continuity-hostile format imposed upon us. Furthermore, the promised epic showdown between Sydney and her sister Nadia turned out to be totally lame. Not only was the fight a let down, but it came about in the most contrived way possible. Rather than give Nadia and Sydney compelling motives to oppose each other, the show resorted to putting Nadia under mind control that turned her into a temporary bad guy. Kize finale grade: D+
Is there any musical act as heavily influenced by its choice of producer as is Dave Matthews Band? Just as occurred on "Everyday" with Glenn Ballard, new producer Mark Batson convinces DMB on its new album "Stand Up" to dumb down its music rather than indulge in the complex instrumental jams that earned them a fan base. This time around, the band adopts the sound of easy listening adult contemporary radio, much like Dave did on his solo effort a few years back. Most of the songs on the album are largely repetitive, with choruses that consist of singing the same line over and over and over. It's probably DMB's worst album, even though some of the tracks are enjoyable. Louisana Bayou is a fun, funky jam, and I like Hunger for the Great Light despite its unabashedly sex-filled lyrics. But considering that I plan on skipping over almost half of the songs every time this disc makes its way into my player, its Kize album grade can't be any higher than a C-.
Joining DMB in the Worst Album of Their Career category is Weezer, with "Make Believe." The good news, however, is that every song on the album is better than Beverly Hills, the first single and Weezer's Worst Song Ever. A good two-thirds of the album still has the trademark Weezer sound, complete with self-depricating lyrics and the singing of various "whoa-oh"s and "oo oo"s. It is only because these songs aren't quite as clever or musically original as much of the band's other catalogue that the album falls short of the mark set by the previous ones. Out of the remaining tracks which depart from Weezer's traditional sound, only one of them avoids sounding overly corny--"This is Such a Pity," in which the band explores what they might sound like if they were The Killers. Kize album grade: C+
A New Evil Arises
A few weeks ago, when The Kize posted "The TV Lover's Code," he must have ruffled a few feathers among those dastardly network execs who will stop at nothing to ruin your viewing experience. Faced with my posting of methods to combat each existing threat of plot spoilage, these villains have devised a new technique to suck the life out of surprising plot twists.
During the two hour episode of Alias that preceded the season finale, the show shamelessly displayed actress Lena Olin's name in the opening credits. As all Alias loyalists know, Lena Olin plays Sydney's mother Irina, a fan favorite character long thought dead. I speculate that Irina's return would have made for quite a climactic moment in the episode, but this potential thrill will remain forever theoretical, as the surprise was thoroughly ruined in advance.
I have yet to come up with a useful plan for shielding myself against such future abuses of opening credits. However, I am convinced that this new reign of terror will be ultimately vanquished.
During the two hour episode of Alias that preceded the season finale, the show shamelessly displayed actress Lena Olin's name in the opening credits. As all Alias loyalists know, Lena Olin plays Sydney's mother Irina, a fan favorite character long thought dead. I speculate that Irina's return would have made for quite a climactic moment in the episode, but this potential thrill will remain forever theoretical, as the surprise was thoroughly ruined in advance.
I have yet to come up with a useful plan for shielding myself against such future abuses of opening credits. However, I am convinced that this new reign of terror will be ultimately vanquished.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)