Sunday, March 20, 2005

Better Than Eating Poop, I Guess

Last week, I pretty much took every opportunity available to complain about how much I was dreading having to go on my company's annual retreat. So, I'd like to thank everyone who listened to my constant whining, as well as to say that the retreat was not as bad as I thought it would be. However, this is only due to the fact that I expected it to be the worst 42-hour period of my entire life. In the same way, you could say that Spy Kids 3D doesn't look as bad as Pokemon: The Movie, System of a Down isn't as horrible an excuse for a band as Nickelback, or that this week's episode of That 70's Show wasn't as unfunny as last week's.

So, what was I up to at retreat while people who work for normal companies were watching basketball?

Friday night after dinner was comprised of breaking into groups and coming up with competing skits about what we would do if we were CEO of the company. Our group won the contest because it supposedly had the best mixture of serious suggestions and humorous presentation, which basically means that it was neither legitimately productive nor truly funny.

Saturday morning, we had the pleasure of listening to a 3 hour presentation by a consultant/motivational speaker, the kind of guy who comes across as being just as genuine as any Clinton-era politician. The main thrust of his speech was to encourage us to "think outside the box" and come up with creative new answers to the questions we face every day. Never mind that, today, the phrase "think outside the box" itself is inside "the box." As a follow-up to the speaker, we discussed in groups the things that our company should start doing, stop doing, do more of, and do less of. It was nice to see office politics taking firm control of this exercise, as most people in my group wouldn't make meaningful suggestions because they were scared of making waves.

From this point on, the retreat went uphill a bit. The Saturday afternoon discussion of the priorities in making additions and changes to our company's main software product was tedious, but at least relevant and important for me to take part in. Of course, none of my interest manifested itself physically, as my tiredness began to take its toll. Numerous people asked me if I were feeling ok, and my boss said I looked like Pete Gillen's depressed son. Saturday evening was free time, and we were done by 11am on Sunday, so there wasn't much time for things to suck then.

In retrospect, I'd still say that the retreat has an overall negative impact on my company, as it largely serves to demoralize its employees in the week prior and wear them out for the one upcoming. However, I will admit that it serves its purpose in providing some social interaction between coworkers, as well as a chance to get everyone together to discuss some important company issues. Of course, all of these things could take place in late May, far removed from the college sports season and closer to some built-in time off for holidays.

You know, I hope no one at work finds out I have a blog.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Soccer Players Love Goals, Tennis Players Love Rackets...Everyone Else Loves NCAA Brackets

The first two rounds of the NCAA basketball tournament make up the best weekend in sports, and though my job can try to rob me of the pleasure of watching by forcing me to go on a Friday through Sunday company retreat, it cannot steal away the joy of filling out a bracket. That said, here's my analysis of some this year's teams:

Final Four:

UNC: Will win it all. They powered through the ACC, even when star guard McCants was battling illness. They have the backcourt to match up with #1 Illinois, but also have in Sean May the inside presence to send the Illini home.

Illinois: Hard to pick against them making the Final Four, as Oklahoma State is pretty much the only team in their bracket that might be good enough to do it. Loses to UNC in the title game.

Wake Forest: The Deacons are one ACC tournament game win away from being a #1 seed, and they're in the same region as this year's weakest top seed, Washington. Everyone knows that guards Chris Paul and Justin Gray are good, but teams still have to answer to Eric Williams at center, a great player who doesn't get the spotlight.

Syracuse: The Big East was the best conference in the country this season from top to bottom, and Syracuse won its tournament title, beating hot pick UConn in the semis. They'll get to the Final Four, with their biggest hurdle being Kentucky, not Duke.

Others:

Duke: They deserve a #1 seed for what they've accomplished, but Coach K will lose to Syracuse in the Sweet 16. Historically, whenever Duke has had problems with depth, they've struggled in the tournament, and this is definitely one of those years. The ACC was a lot weaker this year in the middle than people think, and Duke only went 2-2 in the regular season against the other top 3 conference teams. They had the ACC Tourney handed to them, as each team they faced was the lower seed from the previous round's game.

Louisville: What in the world is this team doing in the 4 slot? For the past two years, I've unsuccessfully tried to give Rick Patino his triumphant return to the Final Four, but this could be the year that he finally does it, using this wrongfully high seeding as motivation for his players. While the Cardinals could knock off questionable Washington, I still don't see them making it past Wake. An Elite 8 team in my book.

Kansas: Roy Williams can breath easy, because I don't think he has to worry about facing the team he betrayed by leaving for North Carolina. Kansas is hitting a slump at exactly the wrong time and has several chances to lose before making the Elite 8, which I have them doing to Wisconsin in the second round.

Florida: People criticize Billy Donovan's teams for choking in the NCAAs, but doesn't anyone remember 2000 when his Gators made a surprise run to the championship game? Florida is red hot coming off the SEC championship against Kentucky, even hotter than Villanova, their likely second round opponent. It's a shame that they'll have to go up against the Heels in the Sweet 16.

Georgia Tech: This is probably the only team in the tournament that could lose in the first round just as likely as they could win the whole thing. I have them doing the former against an underseeded George Washington team, who knocked off Michigan State and Maryland on consecutive days early in the season.

Iowa State: They use their speed to run right past Minnesota to the second round. After a great start which included beating UVA (back when we were good), Iowa State hit a road block midseason. They came out of that slump to earn a Big Dance bid and are quite deserving of one.

Pacific: There's a ton of hype around this team, but I don't think their record puts them that far above any other mid major who's had a successful season. I don't like their chances against Pittsburgh, who fought alongside the toughest the Big East had to offer, which, this year, was pretty darn tough.

Charlotte: If the season had ended two weeks earlier, I'd have had Charlotte making the Sweet 16 as a no-brainer. However, this team's stock is falling fast, having lost 3 straight games by double digits. This doesn't bode well for their first round matchup against NC State, whose improved play in the final weeks of the season culminated in an ACC tournament blowout of Wake Forest.

Old Dominion: There's always a temptation to pick a CAA team to win its first round game, as the league almost always puts up a surprising fight. That pick looks especially alluring when you take into account ODU's 28-5 record. Sure, the Monarchs might be good, but their Strength of Schedule outside of the conference is one of the weakest in the nation. They won't see a second game, losing to a solid Michigan State.

Monday, March 14, 2005

A Glance at (Bad) Comics 3/05

As promised, here are the worst comic book series I've read in the past few months:
  • Superman -
    The boost in sales this book has earned over the past year must be due exclusively to Jim Lee's top notch art, which stands in stark contrast to the low-level of writing being presented. I gave the current 12-part "For Tomorrow" storyline several chances to pick up steam, but after the 7th or 8th chapter it was clear that the "suspense" generated early on was leading nowhere. The only way to justify the half a year of build up in Superman would be to write a really spectacular payoff, but instead readers have received nothing but overly cryptic nonsensical dialogue and a depressed Supes acting like a watered down version of Batman--a take that is as untrue to the character as any I've read.
  • Robin -
    As a kid, my favorite comic month after month was this title featuring the solo adventures of Batman's teenage partner as he dealt with both crimefighting and high school life. Under new management, this book has devolved into a silly sci-fi parody of the characters it once respected. Recent storylines have featured Robin facing off against a supernaturally powered gangster possessed by some sort of giant demonic thumbtack, as well as the Penguin placing orders for weaponry from outer space. And don't get me started on how this series characterizes Batman whenever he appears, turning the stoic Dark Knight into a cartoonish wisecracker.
  • Catwoman: When in Rome -
    Once upon a time, writer Jeph Loeb crafted brilliant Batman mysteries like "The Long Halloween" and "Dark Victory." This companion piece to those wonderful storylines only serves to show how fall Loeb has fallen in the years since. Supposedly fitting between the gaps of events told in "Dark Victory," "When in Rome" features a mystery so unintriguing that I can't even remember what it is. The hidden villain of the story uses weapons patterned after those of Batman's famous rogues, presumably for no other reason than to have the artist draw these familiar images. The plot seeks no such excuse for the nude Catwoman scenes that crop up two or three times an issue.
  • Ultimate Elektra -
    This attempt to cash in on the recent Jennifer Garner Elektra movie would have done better to follow in the footsteps of its predecessor, Ultimate Daredevil, and hired Greg Rucks to continue his defining take on the Daredevil-Elektra relationship. In that series, Matt Murdock and Elektra's love was torn apart by the latter's willingness to cross moral lines in order to see justice served. This sequel tries to re-create that same tension, as Elektra agrees to steal evidence for the Kingpin in return for his help in preventing her father from being framed for money laundering. However, any potential for a compelling moral gray area falls flat once it becomes clear that Elektra had non-criminal options for clearing her father. It seems that the title character in this story isn't overcome by passion as much as she is stupidity.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

A Glance at (Good) Comics 3/05

Here's a look at the 5 best comic books I'm reading currently:
  • Y: The Last Man -
  • Brian K. Vaughn's masterpiece about the lone survivor of a plague that killed all men on earth continues to be as thought-provoking and suspenseful as ever. I especially appreciate how the mysteries of the story are unfolding at a gradual, but steady, pace. While the last storyline revealed the answer to one of the series' biggest questions (why Yorick survived the plague), it didn't place all cards on the table, leaving readers to still wonder how the plague was created and what the motivations are behind those who are apparantly seeking to stop its cure. Unlike The X-Files, which eventually fell under the weight of its own unresolved plot threads, Y seems to be moving to an eventual end, though not at too quick a rate as to rob it of its excitement.

  • Gotham Central -
  • Though it places a central focus on the detectives of Gotham City and includes only minimal appearances of the Dark Knight, Gotham Central reads like the only true Batman book on the market right now. This makes sense, considering that the series' alternating writers Greg Rucka and Ed Brubaker have pretty much been the only writers to contribute relevant stories to the mainstream Bat-books in the past 3 years. Sadly, Brubaker's recent signing of an exclusive contract with Marvel means that his days breathing life into the world of Gotham City have come to an end.

  • Wonder Woman -
  • Yeah, I realize how homo it sounds to say that Wonder Woman is one of my favorite comic books, but the fact that I'm doing so is a testament to the excellent writing that Greg Rucka is also doing in this title. Rucka has taken the two core elements of the heroine's character, her role as an ambassador and her ties to Greek mythology, and crafted an interesting product that is just as much a politcal drama as it is heroic epic. Particularly stirring was WW's recent battle with Medusa, in which the title character was forced to permanantly blind herself in order to defend against her enemy's ability to turn people into stone with a single gaze.

  • Green Lantern: Rebirth -
  • After several years, DC has decided to bring hero-turned-villain-turned-dead Hal Jordan back to the Green Lantern identity, and it is doing so with a bang. In this mini series, details and plot threads dating back to the earliest GL stories have been woven together to form a highly original explanation for Hal's descent into madness, as well as a legitimate reason for his return. It's almost as if the past 15 years of Green Lantern comics have been leading to this point, and I'm a sucker for a continuity-based climax.

  • The Ultimates -
    It's hard to pick just one of Marvel's "Ultimate" titles (a set of modern-day restarts of the company's classic heroes) for my top 5, but the others don't quite match up to the movie-quality plots being told in The Ultimates. While leftist writer Mark Millar likely intends his morally ambiguous government-funded superteam to be a metaphor for his disapproval of the Bush administration's foreign policy, he doesn't hesitate to allow readers to feel sympathetic for the heroes' goals. Though I usually don't consider art as a criteria by which the quality of a book should be judged, penciller Bryan Hitch is doing some of comics' best work in this series.
Tomorrow, we'll take a look at the worst comic books that I'm reading. (Which, if I'm smart, I soon won't be reading.)

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Nationals vs. Orioles: The Battle for my Fanship

Ever since the end of baseball season, when the city of Washington was awarded a Major League franchise, a debate has carried on in the back of my mind as to whether this team should become my new favorite. Historically, I have been a Baltimore Orioles fan, but this has only been because the Orioles were essentially the adopted team of the DC area, whose teams I root for in every other professional league. Now that there exists a Washington Nationals, it seems only logical that this is the team I should pull for. Of course, since the Nationals will be a National League squad and the Orioles are in the American, I could potentially consider both teams a favorite without any conflict of interest aside from the ocassional interleague series or unlikely World Series matchup. Instead of doing this, however, I've chosen to throw all my support to the Nationals. I'm no sports polygamist, and I don't think a man is justified in having both an NL wife and an AL wife.

(Well...considering that this is baseball we're talking about, in my case it would be more like casually dating two girls at the same time, which I still wouldn't do. As hard as I try, I still can't get into baseball like I do other sports. I'll go ahead and acknowledge to baseball fans that their sport isn't exactly "boring," like most haters of the game claim, but I still find there to be several obstacles in the way of my being passionate about an MLB team. Chief among my complaints is the complete lack of suspense over any individual regular season game. In baseball, even powerhouses like the Yankees and Red Sox lose about a third of their games, and teams within the same division play each other countless times throughout the year. Therefore, there can really be no meaningful excitement or disappointment over beating another team on any given night, especially if your team isn't in playoff contention. In football, Dolphins fans can get psyched over beating the Patriots even if their season is in the toilet, but who cares if Tampa Bay sqeaks one out against the Yanks?)

On the surface, there are several good arguments for why I should continue as an Oriole fan. First of all, there's the question of loyalty and the natural skepticism I should have over abandoning my old team in favor of the new kid. Secondly, it's quite likely that the Orioles will be the better team between the two for quite a while, having just added Sammy Sosa to an already potent offense. Remember, the Nationals may have a new coat of paint, but underneath they're just a few free agent signings better than last year's Montreal Expos.

On the other hand, I'd be a complete tool to pick a favorite team based on their chances of success. Don't forget, this is a Redskins and UVA basketball fan writing here. Aside from my brief consideration of defecting to the Minnesota Timberwolves after the Wizards drafted Steve "Elmo" Blake, I've shown as much (or more) love to my bad teams as bandwagon fans do to theirs. Plus, even if Baltimore is an overall better team than Washington, the Nationals still probably have a more open road to the playoffs for the forseeable future. The Orioles could be the third best team in baseball and still finish behind the payroll-powered Yankees and Red Sox. It's true that the Braves have dominated the NL East since the early 90's, but from year to year that division seems a more likely candidate for parity.

Still, the deciding factor for me in picking the Nationals is my consistency in rooting for Washington area teams. Keep in mind that Baltimore is in Maryland, and the only other thing I've ever found from that state worth tolerating is Dave Theisz. If I stay an Orioles fan, I'm only allying myself with a bunch of Ravens loyalists, most of whom hate the Redskins. There's nothing worse than a blue state who only turns red to shout obscenities and burn trashcans whenever they fail to "protect their house" at Terrapin basketball games. Over time, local TV and newspaper coverage here will shift towards focusing on Washington baseball just as it does with other sports. In Virginia, it continues to make the most geographic sense to stick with the Redskins, Wizards, Capitals...and now the Washington Nationals.

PTI, Here I Come

Last Wednesday, at the final UVA basketball home game of the season, a reporter for NBC 29 news randomly picked me out of the crowd to give a sound byte about the miserable state of the program this year. The spot aired on the morning and noon broadcasts the following day, March 3, and featured my heartfelt lament over how quickly my high hopes (generated by a strong finish in '04 and a huge upset of Arizona in November) were dashed onced UVA entered ACC play.

I have two thoughts regarding this recent contribution to the local news. 1) NBC 29 was extremely lucky to have interviewed me, a loyal and knowledgeable fan, rather than some random schmuck like the two guys sitting behind me, who didn't even stand up to applaud the seniors. 2) It should only be a matter of time before ESPN tenders me a generous offer to become an on-air analyst.