Down the Hatch

On the more optimistic TV front (see the post below for the pessimistic), Lost continued to contend for superiority in ratings and quality as it opened it's second season Wednesday night. Miraculously, network TV has created a show with depth and meaning that you have to pay close attention to in order to fully get...and people watch it!

The season premiere didn't skip a beat in carrying on the story from the excellent first season. I was especially impressed with the way in which it answered last season's cliffhanger question ("What's inside the hatch?") right off the bat, but toyed with you for several minutes before revealing to you exactly what it was you were seeing. As has become standard, the show did a superb job in demonstrating that it was moving towards solving its mysteries, while leaving plenty of mystery left at the end. The only real downside to the episode was its relatively uninteresting flashback sequence, which once again focused on Jack. Typically, I haven't found the Jack flashbacks to be as compelling as those belonging to some of the other characters, mainly because I feel we already know a fair deal about his past. That being said, Derek and Travis can attest to you that the episode did a fine job in holding my interest. (Kize Lost Season Premiere Grade: B+)

I won't plead with you to watch Lost like I did Arrested Development. It already does fine in the ratings, and you're better off taking your time with the season one DVDs before diving into the current episodes. Go find yourself someone cool who has the DVDs with a name like, oh...let's say The Kize...and agree to watch the first season with him over the course of several weeks.

Arrested Development has been wrongfully imprisoned!

To my disappointment, the season premiere of Arrested Development was met with the same low ratings that plagued its first two seasons, and nearly drove the show to cancellation. This serves as a strong argument against my theory that my summer might have served as a microcosm for the universe of Arrested Development viewers. It seemed to me that I was surrounded by people who had been drawn to the show by word of mouth, the season one DVDs, and Fox's excellent summer rerun strategy. My parents, my uncle, and several friends of mine had become hooked to the chronicles of the Bluth family, and I was ready to see the show turn into the heir to Seinfeld.

Unfortunately, it appears as if Arrested may be fated to never overcome its Arizona Cardinal-like struggles. My summer test subjects may have been a tainted sample, a rare subset of the population at large who actually appreciate well-crafted, intelligent television. America as a whole still looks to be an army of That 70's Show style drones, unable to get any of the jokes in Arrested Development because they aren't followed up by a laugh track. My only hope is that the first week's ratings were affected by the large draw of ABC's Monday Night Football doubleheader, and that the millions of Americans who tuned into the game will switch over to Arrested next week.

If not, I might have to say goodbye to these.

Redskins 14, Cowboys 13

In 1999 there was the blown 21-point 4th quarter lead. In 2001 we suffered through the Stephen Davis fumble. Last year the heartbreak came in the form of a long bomb in the closing minutes.

But last night, we got to do it to them.

With less than 4 minutes remaining in the game, the most noble and virtuous team in all of sports, the Washington Redskins, trailed the epitome of putridity and unholiness, the Dallas Cowboys, by a score of 13 to 0. With the Redskin offense sputtering all night, my loyalty to see things through to the bitter end was the only thing keeping me half awake on the couch. On fourth down, Mark Brunell finally found Santana Moss in the end zone, at which point I was confident the Skins were giving me just enough renewed hope that I would have something left to squash when time expired.

That hope grew larger when the defense did what it has been doing largely without reward for the past 13 months and stonewalled the ensuing Cowboy drive. Rocking back in forth in my seat, I watched as Brunell and Moss hooked up again, this time for an explosive 70 yarder that gave Washington the go-ahead score. This couldn't be happening! The next 15 minutes were a rush of exuberation as intense as a man could exhibit without waking his roommate upstairs. The defense held again. Final score: Washington 14, Dallas 13. The fans in Texas Stadium (who at halftime had observed a ceremony honoring the Trio of Evil, Troy Aikman, Emmett Smith, and Michael Irvin) were left to drown in their own tears as Joe Gibbs and team rushed onto the field in a celebration unlike any seen by the Redskins in the last 10 years.

Perhaps the Redskin offense will continue to struggle in the weeks to come, and maybe the Redskins won't win another significant game all season. But if that happens, none of it will be able to undo the joy of victory that those who hail the Redskins were able to feel last night.

Kize's 2005 NFL Predictions

For the past few years, I've used my AIM profile to post predictions of the coming year's NFL playoff teams. With the extra space afforded by the blog, I'm pleased to announce the first full Kize's NFL Predictions, where I'll pick each division top to bottom. Sports Illustrated may have enough clout to call theirs an "NFL Preview," but I'll entertain no such illustions here. These are "predictions," which contain no guarantee to preview any part of reality. Comments are welcome, although if you're writing to disagree with one of my picks, then you're required to post your own pick in response.

NFC East

1. Philadelphia Eagles
   Despite the off-season tumult, Terrell Owens will have plenty of opportunities for creative touchdown celebrations this year. They've declined enough to keep them out of a second consecutive Super Bowl, but their hold on the division remains strong.
2. Dallas Cowboys (Playoff wild card)
   I've really been on a roll this year picking teams I'd rather drink pee than watch win (see VT in my ACC predictions). The bastards' defense got a major upgrade in the offseason.
3. New York Giants
   Everyone seems to be sure that Eli Manning will either have a breakout year or be a Gigantic bust. Is it wrong to think that he'll take a gradual step towards becoming a better quarterback? It won't hurt that New York gets 9 home games this year. (grrr...Yeah, that move was real fair for the rest of the teams in the NFC East.)
   
4. Washington Redskins
   Thanks to Mark Brunell's disappointing drain on salary cap space, the Skins had to part ways with Fred Smoot and Antonio Pierce as well as use first round draft picks on positions (QB and CB) they thought they had in place just a year ago. There will be many fits of rage from The Kize this year.

NFC North

1. Minnesota Vikings
   In a division where teams seem to have either an offense (GB) or a defense (Chicago), the Vikings finally have both. Fred Smoot will lead the defense to a Super Bowl birth.
2. Green Bay Packers
   Fans keep talking about Brett Favre's inevitable decline, but I haven't seen it on the field yet. He should have gone to the Pro Bowl last year in place of Michael Vick. Where this team appears to have fallen is in its already pathetic pass defense.
3. Detroit Lions
   The Lions have potentially the best receiving trio in the league. They also have Joey "Interception Machine" Harrington.
4. Chicago Bears
   I had them fourth even before Rex Grossman got hurt. I'm very sold on the theory that you can't operate a true passing threat in the Windy City.

NFC South

1. Carolina Panthers
   Injuries postponed this division title last year, yet they still nearly made the playoffs in a truly amazing second-half-of-season comeback last year. Plus, Rod Gardner just left the Redskins, so you know he'll be good (see Trent Green, Jeremiah Trotter, Brad Johnson, etc.).
2. Atlanta Falcons (Playoff wild card)
   They've got a running game and a high quality defense, two of the three necessary components that Carolina has in place. The good teams can overcome Vick's mobility.
3. New Orleans Saints
   For once, they finished a season strong. The South will be a competitive division, so they could finish at .500 and still end up third. If nothing else, they'll serve as the control group for an experiment testing home field advantage.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
   I'm not saying they'll be bad, but it's hard to describe their season as anything but a rebuilding year. Their defense is still good, if not feared like it once was.

NFC West

1. Arizona Cardinals
   Once, this team couldn't win unless they were involved in a game somehow related to crushing the Redskins' playoff chances. Now, behind coach Denny Green, they've got the foundations for an explosive offense and an improving defense in the NFL's weakest division.
2. Seattle Seahawks
   It's a proven fact that no one can predict how the Seahawks will do. Ever. They'd be the clear-cut best team in the division if they hadn't choked three times against the Rams last year.
3. St. Louis Rams
   The Rams have a ton of great fantasy picks on offense. It's a good thing those players don't lose points for their team's questionable coaching decisions.
4. San Francisco 49ers
   They're the only team whose fans I would take with me to a Redskins game.

AFC East

1. New England Patriots
   They've never been fazed by injury or free agency, have they? For the past four years the Pats have been a testament to great coaching, and now both coordinators are gone. Might they actually have to play a playoff game in Indy?
2. Buffalo Bills (Playoff wild card)
   The Bills were perhaps the only team more impressive than the Panthers in last year's final stretch. I love their touchdown-scoring defense and special teams, and I think second-year wideout Lee Evans is a star in the making.
3. New York Jets
   It's a tough call between them and the Bills, but they spiral out of control whenever Chad Pennington hits his yearly injury. Wait, what am I saying? The rules of fate dictate that Laveranues Coles will catch 15 TDs in his first year after leaving Washington.
4. Miami Dolphins
   The Patriots aren't going to let them get away with an upset this year.

AFC North

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
   The Steelers are the only team in the NFL who can win 4 less games than it did the previous year and still finish in first. And that's what they'll do.
2. Baltimore Ravens
   This has been my hardest pick to make out of them all, especially since I've already given up my wild cards to the AFC East and West. Kyle Boller should consider a second career as The Riddler, with all those question marks surrounding him.
3. Cincinnati Bengals
   So, they had their first surprising 8-8 season thanks to new coach Marvin Lewis, and they had their second one thanks to the emergence of Carson Palmer as QB. Is 9-7 or better on the horizon with this offense?
4. Cleveland Browns
   Last year, they fired the only coach in the NFL whose name I couldn't rattle off the top of my head.

AFC South

1. Indianapolis Colts
   Corey Simon puts in place the final piece of the puzzle needed to vault them over the Patriots. Following their once mythical home playoff game against the Patriots, they take home a Vince Lombardi trophy at last.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars
   Everyone else is picking them to be good, so I will too. I was really disappointed that their offense floundered under Bill Musgrave, who was a brilliant coordinator when he was here at UVA.
3. Houston Texans
   I'll say they're a toss-up for second with Jacksonville. David Carr had a horrible preseason, so that's why they've been bumped down a notch.
4. Tennessee Titans
   And it looks like there won't be any witty comments from me about the AFC South in this year's predictions.

AFC West

1. San Diego Chargers
   Ever since his year with the Redskins, I've considered Marty Schottenheimer to be one of the best coaches in the league. Do yourself a favor, and download the Chargers' fight song here. You will believe!
2. Kansas City Chiefs (Playoff wild card)
   Gunther Cunningham was the right coordinator to bring respectability to this defense, but last year he didn't have the players. He might now.
3. Denver Broncos
   They've been barely making the playoffs and losing in the first round for years now. It seems to me that their plug-in-a-running-back strategy is wearing thin, as it didn't produce a superstar last year.
4. Oakland Raiders
   Let's see here. A Norv Turner coached team with a much-hyped offense and questionable defense? Does this sound familiar to anyone?

SuperBowl: Colts over Vikings in the highest scoring SuperBowl ever!