NFL Season Predictions

Despite the fact that I'll probably be wrong, and that I doubt any one really cares how I think the NFL standings will shake out this year, these predictions are pretty easy posts to write. Anything where sentences are optional can't be too difficult, after all.

NFC East
1. Dallas Cowboys - Wade Phillips may neither be as fat nor as good a coach as Parcells, but they have great talent on both sides of the ball.

2. Philadelphia Eagles (Wild Card) - Old news. Good despite injury prone players and no big name receivers.

3. Washington Redskins - They can definitely make it to 9-7 and challenge the Eagles. The defense looks like it will be back, so maybe...

4. New York Giants - With Tiki gone, has the annoying streak of UVA girls picking the Giants as their "favorite" team finally ended?

NFC South
1. New Orleans Saints - The Colts of the NFC will make me glad for NFL Replay.

2. Carolina Panthers (Wild Card) - Heir to the Seahawks' throne of being impossible to predict.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Free from the poor playcalling of my fantasy team's offensive coordinator, Cadillac scores more than one touchdown this season!

4. Atlanta Falcons - Coaches who wish they still had Matt Schaub: Bobby Petrino and Al Groh.

NFC North
1. Chicago Bears - Without Thomas Jones and a consistent QB, they look likely to fall victim to the Superbowl loser's letdown. But who else can you confidently pick here?

2. Detroit Lions - The offense could break out in a division that has little.

3. Green Bay Packers - I'm still upset about that stupid illegal motion call at FedEx in 2005.

4. Minnesota Vikings - Long ago, a crazed blogger picked this team to go to the Superbowl. He was later eaten by wolves.

NFC West
1. San Francisco 49ers - They've upgraded more than anyone in this anyone's game division, and they'll get the added bonus of playing a third-place team's schedule.

2. St. Louis Rams - Destined for some shootout classics against the offenses of their fellow NFC Westerners.

3. Seattle Seahawks - I'm probably insane for putting them here, but if there's a division where last year's champ doesn't make the playoffs, it's this one.

4. Arizona Cardinals - A trendy pick, but I think it'll be a while before wearing a Cardinals jersey becomes trendy as well.

AFC East
1. New England Patriots - They had a Redskins-like offseason, but this team often wins champions in-season as well.

2. New York Jets - Is it me, or do they seem like pretty much the most average team in the league?

3. Miami Dolphins - Nice to meet you Cam Cameron, I'm Kize Kiser.

4. Buffalo Bills - Just as their offense starts to come around, their defense weakens.

AFC North
1. Baltimore Ravens - Is the reason they struggle on offense at times that the defense limits their time of possession in practice?

2. Cincinnati Bengals (Wild Card) - I started liking Carson Palmer a lot less once I heard Mike and Mike call him today's Aikman.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers - Is Roethisberger the guy you want at the helm of a pass-heavy offense? Maybe.

4. Cleveland Browns - If their offense doesn't get better this year, they've got coaching problems.

AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts - How did Tony Dungy get such a great fantasy team? Addai, Harrison, and Peyton???

2. Houston Texans - Every UVA girl's new favorite team.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars - They cut their incumbent starting quarterback the week before the season starts. Cold blooded!

4. Tennessee Titans - Good thing Vince can run the ball, because I'm not sure he has anyone to throw to. Or hand off to, now that I think about it.

AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers - So good, even a Norv could coach 'em.

2. Denver Broncos (Wild Card) - We'll see if completely undermining Jake Plummer's confidence by drafting Jay Cutler was worth it.

3. Kansas City Chiefs - I wanted the Redskins to go after Damon Huard last year, until I found out he was 35.

4. Oakland Raiders - They really aren't that far away from being good. (In case you can't tell, I wasn't being sarcastic.)

Super Bowl: They call it The Curse of the Curse of the Bambino. Patriots fans haven't seen their team win the Super Bowl since the year the Red Sox last won the World Series. This year, it'll be a battle of the "New"s, but when England faces Orleans the result will be anything but.