Movie Review: Batman Begins

Batman is not silly or corny. He doesn't whip out Bat-shark repellent or joke Batman credit cards when battling his enemies. He most definitely does not wear rubber nipples on his suit. Instead, Batman is a dark creature of the night, striking fear in the hearts of evil-doers just as they would seek to do to innocents. He is not seen at press conferences or public charity functions, but rather lurking in the shadows of Gotham's rooftops and in the whispers and nightmares of the city's criminal element.

Batman is not a hero because of his "wonderful toys." Yes, while Bruce Wayne uses his access to high tech equipment to aid him in his war on crime, it is not the reliance on his tools alone that allows him to succeed. Through years of training and study, Batman has honed his mind and body to near perfection, elevating him to the status of superhero though he possesses no super powers in the traditional sense.

Batman is not a disguise for Bruce Wayne. In fact, Bruce Wayne is a false public persona constructed to conceal the hero's true identity as Batman. While Bruce Wayne might be spotted among high society with a supermodel on each arm, Batman remains more dedicated at heart to his mission than he ever could be to the pursuit of romance.

Batman's villains are not buffoons who provide more comic relief than they do a real threat. They are psychotic killers with cunning minds, more Hannibal Lecter than Dr. Evil. They do not employ oversize props or live in glitzy hideouts, preferring instead to concoct schemes of terror that would make your and my skin crawl if they were real.

Batman's ally Jim Gordon is not an incompetent and overweight figurehead in the world of law enforcement. He's a man of virtue in a city of corruption, a good cop who stands alone against a criminal underworld and dirty police force who are often one and the same.

Batman does not kill. Though he seeks to avenge his parents, Batman would never re-create the act of murder that stole them from him. After seeking an eye for an eye at a young age, Batman has learned that true justice is served when evil is defeated without resorting to using its methods.

Batman does not deserve to be exploited on screen for the sole purposes of being merchandised to children. His movies should not be mere popcorn flicks void of substantive plots. His story is one of complexity, the gripping tale of a man desperately fighting to redeem a severely broken world.

And Batman has never been accurately portrayed in a live action movie. Until now.

Kize movie grade: A+