The Best Away Messages of 2005

For the past year, I've been keeping track of the best away messages I saw on my buddy list, and over the course of the next few days, I'll be counting down the top ten. Granted when I say "best" away messages, I really mean "funniest," but is there really any other way to judge an away message? I mean, does anyone ever say, "That was a really dramatic away message!" or "Man, that away message sure did a bang-up job of telling me what my friend is doing right now!"

Drumroll please...

10. Kramer1981: 2/22/2222 is a friday, not a TUESday. i'm really disappointed by that for some reason. (2/22/05)

9. TravisOakes42: Please do not eat this away message. (7/5/05)

8. BoxFactory: I thought that I lost my bible, but it turned out to just be underneath a pile of trash in my room... I'm happy to find it, but this strikes me as a sad story. (2/23/05)

7. TravisOakes42: Finally did my taxes. I'm glad I'll never have to go through that ordeal again. (4/3/05)

6. TravisOakes42: My hair has grown too long. Perhaps one day mankind will devise a method to remedy this predicament. (10/24/05)

5. Mr Ali Ahmad: If Chris Kiser's name implies a certain level of regality, truly, his 24 taping skills confirm it. (3/14/05)

4. TravisOakes42: If you're on my Christmas list this year, I need some help: Do you prefer gifts or presents? (12/1/05)

3. MatchesMaloneBW: Some people dream about vacations and all the things that would make them happy... I evidently dream about Chris Kiser on Jeopardy and giving the wrong question to the Final Jeopardy answer: "He is Batman's secret identity." (10/12/05)

2. Mr Ali Ahmad: This trip to the library is like the part of Independence Day when they've taken down the alien ship but the Fresh Prince and the Fly haven't blown up the Alien mothership. (5/11/05)

1. Kramer1981: Cabdriver: Ok so stupid question, but I always wonder - the guys, they always talk about 'oh that girl was so hot' or the girls always say 'oh that guy was so hot', what do they mean by that? How do they tell?
Me: Ummm, it means 'attractive'.
Cabdriver: "Oh, so they tell by the face and such, no?"
Me: Um, yeah, I think that's usually how it goes (10/9/05)